Once upon a time, there was a boy who was miserable in life. He kept blaming others for his misfortunes, directed his anger at his close ones, and absolutely hated himself.
He used to shut himself in his room mindlessly scrolling through videos on his phone. He did just enough to pass his courses in college.
You would either find him in his room or parked in front of the TV, playing video games. He struggled to make friends and was socially awkward.
He associated his life with the fate of his favorite football team, but was such an idiot that the team was Manchester United.
Oh, and that boy was me!
6 years later, I can proudly say I am much different, much happier person. I still love Manchester United and video games but with a difference – I don’t tie my happiness with them anymore.
While I still struggle with self discipline at time, I can say that I am a man who is confident and happy with himself. I have taken risks in life that have not panned out the way I had hoped, but I also understand they define who I am.
The secret to happiness does not lie out there. It lies within You!
We have all heard this saying – “It takes 43 muscles to frown but only 17 to smile.” Now before confronting me with facts, know that this quote was not made by a dentist, but by a philosopher.
It is very easy to be happy. Have you ever noticed? When you force yourself to smile, and you automatically start feeling happy. That is because your brain associates smiling with being happy.
However, there is a much deeper lesson here. We can literally control our emotions. We can choose to be happy or sad, calm or angry, content or miserable.
To get there, I had to stop associating my emotions with external validation. I stopped caring deeply about my career not going the way I expected. I stopped caring about not meeting my goals on time. I stopped caring about how poorly my favorite team was performing.
I started taking care of my health and fitness. I started enjoying my solitude. I started investing in self growth. And most importantly, I stopped caring what people thought of me.
Now it doesn’t mean I have become rude or evil. I treat all people the same way without expecting anything in return. But I no longer care how they perceive me as long as I know I have done the right thing.
The Buddha once said, ” Desire is the root cause of all suffering.” What he meant was that the secret to happiness is to just detach yourself from your desires.
Control what you do, what you speak, what you think. The results are anyways not in your hands. That is the secret to happiness.
